On the wagon…

Day 7

No wine, vodka, whiskey-none of my favorite things.  I’ve done it before, I wrote about it, but this time seems harder for whatever reason.  I decided to take another break for a yet to be decided length of time-but I’ll manage.

For the first couple of days I had liquor on the brain and questioned my motives endlessly.  Why am I torturing myself?  Is it even worth it?  I didn’t lose any weight last time, what makes it seem that things will be different? 

I persisted through those really hard days and here I am on day 7 and feeling better about it.  I figured I may as well share some of what I experienced through the process so far…

  • Sweating-during sleep I’d go through phases of being comfortable and then covered in sweat.  It wasn’t horrible but not the most pleasant.
  • Irritability-I was cranky, I wanted a few glasses of wine to unwind and knew that wasn’t an option so…bark bark bark.
  • Bloating-even more bloated than when I consumed a bottle of wine.
  • Lethargy-I have no energy, feel a little down,  and somehow feel the need to watch Grey’s Anatomy from the very beginning.
  • Breakouts-my face is starting to look like that of a teenager.  I know it’s temporary but I’m definitely not happy about it.
  • Sugar cravings-I realize now that the alcohol I was consuming was feeding that craving and now, in the absence of alcohol, I need ALL the carbs.  Oatmeal Creme Pies, Nutty Buddy’s, chocolate covered blueberries, breads…Gimme!!

Honestly, I’ll be even happier when I lose the bloat and sugar cravings.  I’ve already gained a few pounds from the shitty sugar foods I’ve been eating in just one week.

I hope I still feel it’s worth it next week!

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A quick catching up

It’s a chilly morning and I’m snuggled in a blanket on the couch with my second cup of coffee.  It’s quiet-just the shhhhh of the furnace.  I have a cookie scented candle burning from Bath and Body and it smells delicious.

It has been a busy several months since I’ve last written.

I have officially moved into my grandma’s house-directly next door to the house I lived in for the past 20 years.  I boxed up her lifetime of accumulated belongings and moved the majority of it into my old house.  I still have a lot of things left to move out but it’s a process.

I was able to design the remodel completely on my own:  paint, fixtures, tile, counters-everything, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  We’re actually still in the process of remodeling but the main areas are done.  It’s a small house but so much bigger than where we were.  I honestly felt like the Old Lady in the Shoe, especially having seven of us living in less than 1000 square feet with ONE bathroom between us.  We managed;  we survived.

I think what I love the most is that I’m living in a house in which I’ve only ever had good things happen.  My grandma was such a treasure to me-all through my growing up years as well as my adulthood.  As a kid, we all had family dinners on Friday nights at her house where we’d laugh, eat, and us kids would watch The Dukes of Hazard or Benny Hill reruns.

It’s surreal living here.  I know it’s the same house but it looks so different.  I have my couches and tv facing a different direction but in my head I can still see my grandparent’s rocking chairs and all of their furniture. It’s like my memories are clashing with the new ones I’m making.  My kids will be so confused when I’m old and trying to tell them stories;  I’ll have the timelines all garbled.  Oh well, they can sort it out.

I’m in the process of trying to start either a vlog or a podcast…I get myself so worked up with anxiety about it that I haven’t actually put anything together.  Stupid, isn’t it?  My biggest downfall is fear of failure.  Lord only knows what I could have accomplished if I didn’t hold myself back.

I’m still alive, if you hadn’t guessed.  And back on a diet.  *groan*

Since I feel like my writing is stuttering, let me share a few pictures with you:

Gorgeous view overlooking Lake Elsinore

Robert got a brand new bike!

Matthew is continuing his guitar practice and always improving.

Sweetpea loves this house so much more

So does Baxter

I absolutely love my new kitchen

Jordan was able to spend Christmas with us

I hope you enjoyed my little photo tour of the last few months!

Dieting with panache

I’m always on a damn diet.  I think I’ve spent more time on than off, as a matter of fact. You’d think I would be at the goal I’ve set for myself;  that magical number where once you reach it the clouds part, the sun shines brightly, and the angels sing.  Ah, nope.  I feel like a fat lump of clay.  My husband says I look good to him and never says anything negative but I want to look good to me.  I’m not sure where I’m failing but I hope to get it squared away soon.  What a waste of time and energy to be consumed by things one puts in one’s mouth (pun intended)!

I find it hard not to be swayed when I visit my mom’s house.  She buys nothing but crap.  Cookies, cakes, pies, Twinkies, and Ding Dongs, you name it, it’s probably stuffed in her pantry somewhere.  I try to stay out of her kitchen as much as possible.

In my quest to shrink my size, I’ve read and reread numerous dieting books.  The one that seems to appeal most to my appetite is low carb.  I’ve read two separate Atkins books numerous times and there are plenty of celebrities who have had success with it.  For some reason, I seem to be one of the few who hold on to pounds like my life depends on it.  I’m determined, however, and I’ll share some recipes and such along with pictures because maybe you’ll be the one able to tell me what I’m doing wrong!

And even though I haven’t managed to lose a large amount of weight yet, I almost feel like a semi pro in the low carb world and may even be able to help you, even if it’s just to get you to consider how much sugar you eat through the course of a day.  That would be helpful, wouldn’t it?  Well of course it would, silly.

I’m not a fancy cook;  no chef extraordinaire, but I do like to try out a new dish or make something unusual.  It’s not always a winner, not by a long shot, but you don’t learn unless you try, and I can share my successes and failures with you here.

I know it’s June, it’s not a new year, but I do have new things on the horizon and I feel hopeful.  My kids will be starting a new school this fall, my oldest son seems receptive to rehab, my second son is thriving in the Navy, and I’ve been writing blog posts consistently.  These things make me happy and I feel as though it gives me the extra push to do better with my diet-like I, too, might succeed!

I love avocados.  Living in California means that they’re abundant, too.  I even have an avocado tree next door that is, oh, around 60 years old, I’d say.  My grandparents planted it from a seedling a friend had given them and it has grown abundantly.  Of course, none of them are ripe yet so I spent $3 on two at the local farmer’s market.  I normally wouldn’t buy them because they’re so pricey but they looked so good.  After looking around on Pinterest I concocted this recipe.  Sometimes the stuff you throw together quickly can be the most tasty.

Now don’t frown, this was delicious and quite filling.  Here are the ingredients:

  • 1 small avocado, halved
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tablespoon of real butter
  • 1/3 cup sliced mushrooms
  • 1 tablespoon cotija cheese
  • 1 tablespoon horseradish sauce

I halved the avocado and set it aside as I fried the mushrooms in the butter.  After they were done cooking, I put them on a paper plate and fried the egg in the remaining butter until done.  The egg fit nicely inside the avocado and then I topped it with the mushrooms, cheese, and horseradish sauce.  This was so good and I was satisfied for several hours, afterwards.

Nutritional info:

  • avocado 4 net carbs
  • egg 1 carb
  • mushrooms .56 carbs
  • cotija cheese0
  • horseradish 1 carb
  • butter 0 carbs

This brings the grand total to 6.56 net carbs.  That’s very low carb and full of healthy fats.

What do you think, would you try it?